grief

Stone Cold Gaze

I published this photo on my Facebook page several weeks back. It’s from a granite angel grave marker I seem to keep rephotographing because that cherubic face and those eyes entombed within the texture of the granite somehow draws me back again and again.

greenwood45c2017earlharrisphotographyallrightsreserved

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earl harris photography
Photographing people, places, pets and ponderings
throughout Central Florida.

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Unbearable

“Weeping is not the same thing as crying. It takes your whole body to weep, and when it’s over, you feel like you don’t have any bones left to hold you up.”
― Sarah Ockler,
Twenty Boy Summer

"Unbearable",  Nikon D700, ISO 200, f/3.5 at 1/100th sec., 135mm

“Unbearable”, Nikon D700, ISO 200, f/3.5 at 1/100th sec., 135mm

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Photographing people, places, pets and ponderings throughout Central Florida.

The Successful Life

“He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much;
Who has enjoyed the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent men and the love of little children;
Who has filled his niche and accomplished his task;
Who has never lacked appreciation of Earth’s beauty or failed to express it;
Who has left the world better than he found it,
Whether an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul;
Who has always looked for the best in others and given them the best he had;
Whose life was an inspiration;
Whose memory a benediction.”
— Bessie Anderson Stanley

"At-one-ment",  Nikon D700, ISO 200, f/2.8 at 1/1000th sec., 95mm

“At-one-ment”, Nikon D700, ISO 200, f/2.8 at 1/1000th sec., 95mm

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Private appointments available

Photographing people, places, pets and ponderings throughout Central Florida.

Empty

“We hear only our own voices, still echoes returning to our emptiness.”
—Dejan Stojanovic,
The Sun Watches the Sun

James and I should be celebrating 23 years of life together today. Instead, I just feel the emptiness of grief.

"Empty", Nikon D800, ISO 400, f/8 at 1/160 sec., 17 mm

“Empty”, Nikon D800, ISO 400, f/8 at 1/160 sec., 17 mm

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Photographing people, places, pets and ponderings
throughout Central Florida.

You Are My Sunshine

You are my Sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are grey
You’ll never know, dear,
How much I love you
Death can’t take my Sunshine away.

Remembering my husband, James Cantrell, on this 1st anniversary of losing him to cancer.

"James" [Click the image to enlarge/reduce its size.] Nikon D800, ISO 100, f/2.0 at 1/5000 sec., 50 mm

“James” [Click the image to enlarge/reduce its size.] Nikon D800, ISO 100, f/2.0 at 1/5000 sec., 50 mm

iPhone-James_Earl_Holding_hands_w_Rings-800x600.jpg

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Idol Hope

“Whatever controls us is our lord. The person who seeks power is controlled by power. The person who seeks acceptance is controlled by acceptance. We do not control ourselves. We are controlled by the lord of our lives.”
― Rebecca Manley Pippert,
Out of the Saltshaker and Into the World

"Idol Hope", Nikon D800, ISO 200, f/8 at 1/125 sec., 78mm

“Idol Hope”, Nikon D800, ISO 200, f/8 at 1/125 sec., 78mm
Click the image to view larger size.

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Photographing people, places, pets and ponderings.

Booking family, personal, business and pet portrait sittings throughout Central Florida

Be sure to visit my booth at Space Coast Pride this Sunday, May 25th!
Wickham Park Pavilion, 3701 Wickham Road, Melbourne, FL

Best Friend

“The righteous care for the needs of their animals, but the kindest acts of the wicked are cruel.”
Proverbs 12:10 (NIV)

Someone glued angel wings onto the back of this dog figurine before placing it at the grave of their loved one. I liked the way this particular token of remembrance provides a glimpse of the character of the person at rest here. I couldn’t help but find significance in the dog’s upward gaze toward the heavens. I look that direction a lot, too.

"Best Friend"

“Best Friend”, Nikon D800, ISO 320, f/2.8 at 1/4000 sec., 28mm
Click the image to view larger size and available print options.

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Photographing people, places, pets and ponderings.

Booking family, personal, business and pet portrait sittings throughout Central Florida

All of Me

“These wounds won’t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There’s just too much that time cannot erase”
— Evanescence,
My Immortal

As you can see, I spent some time at the local cemetery again, pondering and perusing the grave decorations. I came upon a few decorations I wanted to photograph for inclusion in my series A Grave Image, and will share those in my next few posts. There is something oddly cathartic for me in the making of these images; something that makes losing James take on a broader context among so many other monuments and tokens commemorating life, friendship and undying love. I find community and understanding in these visual testimonies placed here by fellow members of the fraternity of grief into which I’ve been involuntarily swept up and irrevocably indoctrinated.

I’m pretty happy with the way this turned out. She seemed to take on a life of her own during post-processing and the final image emerged without any forethought of creative intent on my part. I hope you like it.

"The Third Angel" - copyright 2014, earlharrisphotography

“The Third Angel”, Nikon D800, ISO 320, f/2.8 at 1/2500 sec., 28mm
Click the image to view larger size and available print options.

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Photographing people, places, pets and ponderings.

Booking family, personal, business and pet portrait sittings throughout Central Florida

The Comfort of Sorrows

“Those who have suffered understand suffering and therefore extend their hand.”
–Patti Smith

"The Comfort of Sorrows", Nikon D800, ISO 320, f/3.2 at 1/4000 sec., 27mmClick the image to view larger size and available print options.

“The Comfort of Sorrows”, Nikon D800, ISO 320, f/3.2 at 1/4000 sec., 27mm
Click the image to view larger size and available print options.

=^,,^=
Photographing people, places, pets and ponderings.

Booking family, personal, business and pet portrait sittings throughout Central Florida

Gerbera Daisy, Transformed

Over the 9 years we were in Utah, James and I didn’t spend Christmas or Thanksgiving together. We both felt that it was important to spend the holidays with our parents: it was important to them and we would have plenty of holidays together after the blessing of having our parents around was lost. I always went home for Christmas and he went home for Thanksgiving. Whomever wasn’t going home stayed behind to care for our kids, the cats.

I took this photo in my parent’s back yard when I was in Orlando for Christmas in 2006. I remember sitting in the grass with the Nikon D100 I was learning to use, very aware of a nearby nest of ants. James liked the photo so much, I gave him a framed 18×24 print for our anniversary. It still hangs on the wall, transformed now somehow into a reminder of how fate can mock our plans and best intentions. This morning, I came across the original image file and decided to revisit it and clean it up using my current editing skills and tool set. The end result isn’t as bright as the original — an unintentional but probably subconsciously driven outcome, for the same can now be said of me. One of the things that has always and will always draw me to photography is the ability of an image to make me reflect and feel, much like one does upon hearing an old, significant song.

"Gerbera Daisy, Transformed", Nikon D100, ISO 200, f/5.6 at 1/250 sec., 98mmClick the image to view larger size and available print options.

“Gerbera Daisy, Transformed”, Nikon D100, ISO 200, f/5.6 at 1/250 sec., 80mm
Click the image to view larger size and available print options.

=^..^=
Photographing people, places, pets and ponderings.

Booking family, personal, business and pet portrait sittings throughout Central Florida.